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Performance Review opens to Dwight exercising on his fitness orb to Jim's annoyance. Dwight starts to go on about the benefits including better sex when Jim asks him how much it cost. When Dwight tells him it only cost $25, Jim stabs it with a pair of scissors.

Pam explains to camera that today is company wide performance review day. Expecting her performance review, Pam is trapped in to giving Michael love advice regarding his recently mutually ended relationship with Jan Levinson. Michael makes her listen to a voicemail message from Jan. Pam is about to break the truth to Michael when she realises it is in her best interests to keep Michael in a happy mood, and offers him encouragement.

Dwight attempts to sabotage Jim's performance review by telling him to recommend an imaginary product to Michael, but Jim messes with his head. Jim then learns that Dwight has his days confused and thinks today (thursday) is really friday.

Stanley is in Michael's office giving him earnest advice about the pauses in Jan's voicemail, telling him he learned his techniques from the ghetto. Cut to Stanley to camera "it's all about my bonus"

Pam walks past Jim in the lunchroom and tells him that Jan and Michael definitely made out, maybe more. Jim tells Pam that Dwight thinks it's friday and to keep it going.

Stanley walks out of Michael's office with Michael in an exuberant mood. Michael calls Angela in for her review. Angela reveals to the camera that she enjoys her review. She really enjoys being judged and believes she holds up very well to even severe scrutiny. As they walk into Michael's office, Jan calls for Michael and Angela is fobbed off as 'satisfactory' to her dislike.

Michael takes Jan's call and tries to get closure with Jan. Jan refuses to discuss it with him, especially when she realises the cameras are filming. Jan hangs up on Michael.

Kevin and Oscar argue about what happened between Michael and Jan while Angela tells them to mind their business.

Michael needs some ideas for his performance review with Jan so he tells Pam to find the suggestion box and get people to put some ideas in it. When Ryan and Kelly correct Michael's grammar, he snaps at them.

Jim fakes a phone call in front of Dwight to continue the ruse that tomorrow is Saturday.

Jan Levinson arrives for Michael's performance review amidst furtive glances around the office. Michael's attempt to greet her warmly is met coldly, and they enter his office. Jan immediately tells Michael that she is not there to discuss anything other than Dunder-Mifflin business. Michael still feels conflicted and finds it difficult to not talk about their relationship.

Pam asks Jim if he watched the apprentice last night, and Dwight still doesn't twig that today is thursday, wondering why he was playing laser tag when it was on.

Pam calls Michael and on speakerphone tells him that he told her to call him when Jan was in his office for the suggestion box meeting. Seizing it as an opportunity to avoid being alone with Michael, Jan agrees to sit in on the meeting.

Michael opens the meeting and tells everyone he reads their suggestions every week. Michael reads out the first suggestion, 'what can we do about Y2K?'. He explains it must have gotten stuck in the crack. 2nd suggestion 'we need better outreach for employees fighting depression'. Michael laughs it off but Jan takes it seriously. When no one can remember Tom, who wrote it, Phyllis reminds everyone that Tom used to work in accounting until about a year ago and makes sign of gun blowing her brains out with her fingers... Michael reads out the next suggestion 'you need to do something about your BO'. Michael pretends he doesn't know who it is directed at until Toby tells him it is directed at him. Creed then corrects Michael's grammar causing him to snap and accuse Creed of being stanky. He reads another suggestion 'you need to do something about your coffee breath'. Still in denial, Angela elaborates further to Michael. The next suggestion is a piece of gum wrapped in paper. Michael threatens the staff with making him read them again tomorrow when Dwight lets out that tomorrow is Saturday, Jim throws a look at Pam but Dwight still does not realise. Michael reads out the last suggestion 'don't sleep with your boss' to Jan's embarrassment. Dwight asks Michael if he thinks it has anything to do with him boning Jan.

Michael tries to get Jan to talk about what happened while Dwight gets psyched up to ask for a raise during his performance review. Dwight barges in on Jan and Michael and demands to have his review. Michael fobs Dwight off as 'adequate'. When Dwight demands a raise, Michael asks him why on earth he would give him a raise.'

Dwight continues to harp on his merits until Jan snaps and leaves the office to clear her thoughts.

Jan fumbles outside for a cigarette while explaining to camera that she doesn't want to talk about it. The sign behind her reveals that Vance Refrigeration shares the second floor with Dunder Mifflin while W.B. Jones Heating and Air are on the first floor with the other suite available for rent.

Back in Michael's office, Dwight continues to push Michael for a raise, using an analogy from Smallville.

Pam and Jim speculate on whether Jan actually did anything with Michael, and contemplate how one can return to humanity after intimacy with Michael.

Jan returns to the office and tells Michael she is flying back to New York immediately and she will conduct his review over the phone tomorrow. Michael chases her to the lift and demands a reason from her. Jan breaks down and categorically tells Michael why he is repulsive on every level while the staff listen in. Michael remains in denial and tells the camera how Jan is not in a place where she feels she can have a relationship right now regardless of how great a guy he is.

Cut to Dwight's empty desk. 12.20pm friday, his phone is ringing. Michael asks Jim where Dwight is. Jim shrugs. Never missed a day my ass. Cut to Dwight in the car park running frantically, 'I'm here, I'm here!'.

• The office building where the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company located is also the home of W.B. Jones Heating and Air, and Vance Refrigeration, which is owned by Bob Vance, fiancé to Phyllis Lapin.
• When Michael is in the conference room reading the pages from the suggestion box, Angela tells him he has coffee breath. Steve Carell improvised the line, "Oh yeah, is that hard for you?" and, in turn, Angela Kinsey improvised her response, "When you talk real close it is."
• In the Season 2 DVD, the deleted scenes for this episode revealed the story behind the production photo of Dwight with a self-promoting sign that had been posted on NBC.com. In order to impress Michael and receive a raise Dwight used the letters of his name to provide adjectives for himself. D-Determined, W-Worker, I-Intense, G-Good Worker, H-Hard Worker, T-Terrific. Jim Halpert then comes up with his own version, to irritate Dwight. J-Jim, I-Is Jim, M-My Name Is Jim. Dwight unaware of the gag tells Jim that he is wasting his M.

Dwight: Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Jim: Done.

Pam: It’s performance review day, company-wide. Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and it ended with him telling me he could bench press a hundred and ninety pounds. So I really don’t know what to expect.

Michael: Pam, you’re trustworthy.
Pam: Thank you.
Michael: And a woman.
Pam: Oh no.

Michael: So she misses me.
Pam (with sweeping hand motion): She missed you.

Jim: Well I’m not asking for a raise. I’m going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim: Then I win.

Jim: Today is Thursday. But, Dwight thinks that it’s Friday. And … that’s what I’ll be working on this afternoon.

Michael: Ah, Stanley, that is frickin’ brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? Sorry.
Stanley: Oh, it’s okay. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.
Michael: No kidding.
Stanley (to camera): It’s all about my bonus.

Angela: I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the Youth Beauty pageant circuit, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.

Jan: Michael?
Michael: Yeah.
Jan: Are the cameras in there with you?
Michael: No.
Jan: Your office?
Michael: They are not. (Long pause.) Yes, they are.
Jan sighs and hangs up.
Michael (pointing to phone): That’s my girlfriend.

Kevin: I heard they made out and had sex.
Oscar: No, they just made out. That’s it.
Kevin: Well I heard they made out … and … had … sex.
Angela: Don’t talk about it. Office romances are nobody’s business but the people involved.
Kevin: Romances?

Michael: Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do.

Kelly: You said constructive compliments. That doesn’t make any sense.
Michael: Well, Kelly, that was neither constructive nor a compliment. So maybe you should stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions.

Jan: So are you still in the middle of the, the performance reviews then?
Michael: No no no, I finished all of that, very fast. Well, I’m not too fast, not like wham bam, thank you ma’am. But I do say thank you ma’am. But I’m, I’m not like wham bam. Not that there’s anything wrong with wham bam. Not if it’s consensual.

Jan: Please don’t smell me, Michael.

Dwight: I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night, what the hell was I thinking?

Creed: Uh, Michael, he wasn’t inferring, he was implying. You were inferring.

Angela: Sometimes you talk to us real close.
Michael: You know, is that hard for you? Alright, well, I’ll work on that.
Angela: Well, when you have coffee breath, it’s hard.

Dwight (reading suggestion): “Don’t sleep with your boss”? Do you think this is referring to you boning Jan?

Dwight: Why are you going to give me this raise? Why? Because … I’m awesome!

Jan: Look, I know it’s your job, I know you have to ask, but I promise you, I’m not going to discuss it with him, I am certainly not going to discuss it with you. (Holding up cigarette) Do you have a light.

Dwight: And in conclusion, I think Lex Luthor said it best, when he said, “Dad, you have no idea what I’m capable of.”

Jan: Michael, it has nothing to do with your looks, okay? It’s your, it’s your personality. I mean, you’re obnoxious, and rude, and, and, and stupid, and, you do have coffee breath, by the way, and, and, I don’t agree about the b.o, but you are, very, very inconsiderate.
Michael: So my looks have nothing to do with it.
Jan (sighs): God.

Michael: Never missed a day my ass.