Top
Unbeknownst to him, Ryan comes into work early merely to bring Michael his breakfast. When Michael tells him the office is his for the next few hours, Ryan opts to spend those hours sleeping in his car until work starts.

Michael announces that he will be becoming a homeowner. Jim "dies" of boredom, and to revive him, he and Pam try to throw things in Dwight's coffee mug. Michael prepares to leave to sign the final papers for his new condo and Dwight insists that he join him as a second voice, which he reluctantly agrees to. Michael assigns Pam to have the office work on the expense reports for the afternoon. Jim asks Oscar about the expense reports and notices material on his desk that reads "2005 SEASON" as well as a small scoreboard. Oscar explains that he and Kevin play a paper football game when Michael's out (or when they're bored). Jim joins in and Kevin explains the game is called "Hate Ball", since Angela hates when they play it. Other games they play are "Who Can Put The Most M&Ms In Their Mouth?" and "Dunderball". Meanwhile, Michael admires his condo from the street, until he notices he's looking at the wrong house.

At the condo, Michael's agent Carol introduces him to Bill, the head of the condo association and makes a Mr. Bill reference. Dwight talks about his 60-acre beet farm that he runs with his cousin Mose. He begins asking questions about the house, and Carol and Bill start to think that he and Michael are homosexual. Back at the office, Jim tries to get Stanley to join in the fun, but he outright refuses (although he is seen enjoying the games later). Michael shows the camera crew the master bedroom at the condo and starts bragging. Dwight starts to rain on his parade, bringing up the condo's weaknesses, which starts to worry Michael. In the office, Jim and Pam begin the opening ceremonies of the "Games of the 1st Dunder-Mifflin Olympics" in the lunch room. Jim explains they will be competing for medals made of gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids" that Pam made herself. Angela is annoyed by the games.

At the condo, Michael starts to regret his purchase when he realizes he got a 30-year mortgage and Dwight makes the situation sound even worse. Michael takes a breather before he signs the contract. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam explain the "Flönkerton" race (where full paper boxes are strapped to your feet) and Phyllis challenges Kevin. Michael starts complaining about the condo to Carol and demands a price reduction, but she explains he will lose $7,000 if he walks away, so he signs. Dwight and Michael laugh about the "saps stuck at the office" as we see Phyllis narrowly defeating Kevin in "Flönkerton".

At the condo, Michael tells Dwight he's going to "let" him move into his third bedroom and pay rent. Dwight starts asking Michael a series of questions, which become increasingly strange. In the office, Angela tells Pam about a game she plays called "Pam Pong", where she counts how many times Jim goes to Pam's desk. The questions continue at the condo, which pushes Michael to the point of revoking his offer, much to Dwight's relief. At the office, the employees gather around the elevator to bet who will arrive next and Ryan wins. Pam shows Jim a box of items for the closing ceremonies and Angela marks off another tally for "Pam Pong", to Pam's annoyance. Toby and Oscar race with full coffee mugs around the office, but the games immediately stop when Michael and Dwight return, much to Jim's disappointment.

Things get quiet again. Jim fills out the expense reports, which only take five minutes. Ryan throws away Pam's medals which she sadly notices. Pam has 59 voicemails, but attends to Jim's insistance that the closing ceremonies will occur at 5pm. Jim brings out Michael to join in the ceremonies and gives him the gold medal in front of the entire staff for closing on his condo. Michael is moved to tears. A perplexed Dwight gets the silver medal. Jim gets the bronze. Pam plays the national anthem and releases the origami paper doves she made for the ceremonies. The employees smile and Michael wells up with tears.

• Angela ends up being the only employee who doesn't participate in the games.
• This episode features the first appearance of Carol (the real estate agent) played by Nancy Walls, Steve Carell's wife and former co-star on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Vance Refrigeration is also first mentioned in this episode.
• About three months after this episode aired, the Chicago Tribune reported on a national trend of various offices in the United States staging their own "Office Olympics" based on this episode. They also provided "8 Easy Tips for a Great Day of Office Olympics".
• A series of magazine advertisements for Puma golf wear featuring the main characters of The Office (minus Steve Carell) playing Office Golf were released in the April 2006 issue of Details magazine.
• In every episode previous to this, when Steve Carell's name came up in the credits, it showed a clip of him talking in "Diversity Day". This is the first episode in which it changes to a clip of him speaking in "Sexual Harassment".
• During the playing of the Star Spangled Banner at the end of the episode, all of the characters have their right hand over their hearts except for Kevin, who has his left hand over his heart.
• In "Pilot", Michael Scott claims that Dunder Mifflin has the entire floor of the building, but in this episode, we see that Vance Refrigeration has offices on the floor as well. Michael was probably exaggerating in the Pilot episode.

Michael: I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise, and I have worms.

Michael: But thank you, and why don’t you just, take a couple of hours, office is yours. Home Alone, Risky Business. Take your pants off, run around. Whatever you wanna do.
Ryan: I’m just going to take a nap in my car ’til works starts.

Michael: Back in olden days, they would not even let you vote unless you owned property. And they’d throw you in the stocks, and humiliate you.

Dwight: They should bring the stocks back, people would obey the law, there’d be less trouble makers.

Pam: Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today, it was the expense reports that did him in. And uh, our deal is, that it’s up to me to revive him.

Dwight: I have been Michael’s number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. And we’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart, and I’m like … Mozart’s friend. No, I’m like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like … Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you’re gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

Michael: Ah, most honorable Pamera. Not offensive, because that’s the way they talk in movies.

Pam: Yes, I changed your Cracked magazine subscription.
Michael: How ’bout, mmm, uh, Fine Arts … Afficionado … Monthly.
Pam shakes head.
Michael: No? Okay, well, could you get on that? Cuz I don’t just read Cracked.

Dwight (pointing to his sunglasses): Check it out. Terminator.
Michael: I do not understand what you spend your money on.

Jim: I really love the, uh, paper triangle flicking and hitting things game.
Oscar: Yeah.
Kevin: We call it Hateball.
Jim: Why?
Kevin: Because of how much Angela hates it.

Kevin: Sometimes we play, who can put the most M&Ms in their mouth.
Angela: You play that.

Dwight: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.

Real estate agent: It’s a very gay-friendly neighborhood.
Michael: Oh good, that’s good. It’s good to be accommodating of … that.
Dwight: Let’s go check out the master bedroom.

Stanley: Yeah, I got a game. It’s called, work hard so my kids can go to college.

Michael: I am going to totally pimp this place out.

Dwight: Neighbor throws his wife into the wall, plasma screen hits the floor, totally smashed.

Jim: This scented candle, andle, andle … which I found in the mens’ bathroom, room, room … represents the eternal … burning … of competition … or something.
Kevin: It smells like cookies.
Jim: Yes it does. Yes it does, my friend.

Angela: I do play games. I sing. And I dangle things in front of my cats. I play lots of games. Just not at work.

Dwight: Hey, I have an idea. You know that extra bedroom? If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, that’s where the nurse can live.

Dwight: Hey look, cool! Carpenter ants.

Dwight: A thirty-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls, so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.

Jim: You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies. And I’m blanking on the name … could you help me out, Pam?
Pam: Jim, they refer to it as … Flonkerton. In English, box of paper snowshoe racing.

Pam: The thing about Jim is, when he’s excited about something, like the office Olympics, he gets really into it, and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is, that he works here, so that hardly ever happens.

Jim: Phyllis, if you just put your foot right through here, right through the flonk.

Michael: The ceilings are lower than they were last week.

Michael: Where are all the hot people?

Michael: There’s a basic principle, in real estate. That you should never be the best looking person in the development. It’s just sort of common sense. Because if you are, then, you got no place to go but down.

Dwight: Can you imagine those poor saps stuck at the office today?

Jim: It’s Phyllis, it’s Phyllis by a nose, gold medal in flerninton.
Pam: It’s flonkerton!
Jim: Thank you, delegate from Iceland.

Dwight: Question. Where can I put my terrarium?
Michael: What the hell is a terrarium?
Dwight: It’s a fish tank for snakes and lizards.
Michael: Oh, so an aquarium.
Dwight sneers at the camera.
Dwight: Question: my grandparents left me a large number of armoires …

Pam: C’mon Angela, don’t you have a game.
Angela: I have one, yes.
Pam: Well let’s play, what is it?
Angela: I call it Pam Pong, I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you.
Pam: We’re friends.
Angela: Apparently.

Phyllis: Are you callin’ me a ho?
Jim: Oh-my-god. Phyllis coming alive, I like it.

Dwight: Can sometimes I drive your car, and you drive mine?

Dwight: It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a 9-bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It’s the perfect situation for me. Although two bathrooms would have been nice. We just have the one. And it’s under the porch.

Dwight: People love beets.
Michael: Nobody likes beets.
Dwight: Everyone loves beets.
Michael: Nobody likes beets, Dwight.
Michael: Why don’t you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy.

Jim: Yeah, I filled out the expense reports. That took about five minutes. And then I closed two sales at lunch time. So, about as productive as any other day. If not more so.

Ryan: I figured I could throw it away now. Or I could keep it for a couple of months, and then throw it away. I mean, it was really nice of Pam to make them, but what am I going to do with a gold medal made of paper clips and an old yogurt lid.

Jim: Today, five o’clock, closing ceremonies.
Pam: Really?
Jim: Notify the athletes.
Pam: Cool.

Michael: I don’t really know what to say, um, I’m not one for making speeches, but uh, my heart is very full at this moment.

Michael: Why are you playing the national anthem?
Jim: Um, cuz your condo’s in America.

Michael (as Pam pulls out the string of paper doves): What the hell is that?
Jim: Those are the doves.