Top
Dwight abruptly begins to quiz Ryan with brain teasers, but becomes frustrated and screams "Dammit!" when the younger man recites answers to the puzzles, many before the full question is asked.

Jan questions Michael's productivity and presses him on his accomplishments during the previous workday. Michael says he "worked, went home to his condo, and Carol came over, and we had sex." Jan instructs Pam to log Michael's hourly activity "so we can analyze it at Corporate". Jan walks out of the office as Pam begins to protest.

Dwight pesters Ryan about his excitement level for his first-ever sales call and informs the camera why he is so excited: Ryan has yet to make an ally within the office, and hopes to steer him clear of being a "slacker-loser-wiseass like Jim" and draft him in the "Dwight army of champions." That afternoon, Dwight drives Ryan to a beet field, smirks to the cameraman in the backseat and tells Ryan "Your journey begins now, sly fox."

At Dunder-Mifflin Stamford, Karen is disturbed to find her chair squeaks and accuses Jim of a chair swap. He protests that he simply switched them back after she made the original switch. Karen promises to switch chairs while he's away from his desk, so he vows not to stand and proves such by rolling to the copy machine.

On a phone call, Michael imitates Bill Cosby: "I love Jell-O puddin' pops. My son Theo loves puddin' pops, too." Pam shows the camera "Cosby Impression" for the 10:00 hour in the log.

Dwight forces Ryan snatch a beet seed from his palm and plant it in a field. The Assistant Regional Manager tells the young salesman "just as you planted that seed, I shall plant my seed in you" to which the young salesman says "I don't think you know what you're saying." Dwight says the bad odor in the area is "called bull crap" and states that "clients can smell it from a mile away". Dwight suddenly announces he forgot something in his car and maniacally runs toward the vehicle, gets in and speeds away.

A loudspeaker announces free soft pretzels being given away in the lobby. Stanley and Michael immediately head for the door. In interviews, Stanley proclaims that pretzel day is his favorite day of the year, Pam admits it is a big deal for some people and Michael says he cannot be productive when there is one thing in his brain which he just can't get out, especially when that one thing is soft pretzels.

A long pretzel line peeves Michael and he and Stanley rebuff Phyllis' attempt to jump the line with Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration; Stanley sees past his disdain for Michael and high-fives him. Pam asks Michael to use his time in line to authorize some checks, but he instead has her hold his place in line while he uses the restroom. She offers to brings him a pretzel if Michael returns to the office, but he explains that if she ordered his pretzel incorrectly "then ... this whole thing's blown." Shown to the camera, the productivity log now reads "Stood in Pretzel line" for the noon hour.

Angry Ryan walks alone up a dirt road, muttering to himself. He knocks on a barn door, and Dwight jumps out: "Congratulations, resourceful salesman! Welcome to Schrute Farm!" Having passed Dwight's second challenge, Ryan sits in a Victorian-era wheelchair and surmises the apparition haunting the hallowed grounds is Dwight's cousin Mose. Dwight quizzes Ryan about Dunder-Mifflin, the death of company cofounder Robert Mifflin, the purpose of the DHARMA Initiative, and Michael's greatest fear, to which Ryan incorrectly answers "loneliness. Maybe women."

"Wrong. The correct answer is 'NOTHING.' I also would have accepted 'Snakes,'" says Dwight. "You must vanquish fear."

Mose appears with the word "Fear" on his shirt in tape, and Dwight tells Ryan as his final test he must wrestle Mose to the ground. Ryan calls Dwight a freak and storms out, despite Dwight's protests and instructions to get inside a coffin. Mose remarks "he seemed nice," and Dwight asks "Where are all the animals?"

At Stamford, Karen begins to continually squeak her chair. Jim quickly begins to sing the chorus of The Cardigans' "Lovefool", despite Karen's objections that the song is unfair retaliation and "will be in her head all day." The camera pans to Andy, who is conducting and lip synching along with Jim's vocals, out of sight. In an interview, Andy completes the song's chorus — "I don't care 'bout anything but you" — and ponders the whereabouts of the band. Eventually the squeaky chair gets passed to Andy when he isn't in the room.

Michael finally arrives at the front of the line and orders "The Works" — a sweet pretzel with all 18 sweet toppings. Back upstairs, he blasts Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2", suddenly emerges from his office and launches into a hyperactive, fast speech: "I am working very hard to streamline this office." He tells Stanley and Phyllis to switch desks. Kevin wonders what's going on, and Michael assures him he will be taking questions. Pam asks if he's had too much sugar, Phyllis points out a pretzel topping spilled on his suit.

Inside his Trans Am, Dwight catches up with Ryan as he walks along the road, apologizes and displays gifts Mose sent, including fresh eggs, fatback bacon, and "something he whittled," which appears to be a Venus figurine. After being pleaded with, Ryan gets in the car where Dwight explains the lack of a friendship with Jim was the main impetus for the initiation ceremony. Dwight then begins to give Ryan sales-call pointers which Ryan tries to memorize. His final advice is for Ryan to "K.I.S.S. — Keep It Simple Stupid."

Michael sleeps face-down on his desk. Jan phones for him, but Pam says he's on a sales call.

A dejected Ryan walks out of the sales call as Dwight tries to cheer him up. Ryan gripes that the potential client told him to his face that they didn't like him. In retaliation, Ryan begins to throw Mose's eggs at the building and CEO reserved parking sign. Surprised at Ryan's initiative, Dwight joins him, shouting "Oh no, no, no, Temp, you didn't," until two security guards saunter out, at which point the pair peel out of the parking lot in Dwight's Firebird. They go to a bar and drink boilermakers, and as a result of the day's events, Dwight no longer calls Ryan "Temp" but instead uses his given name.

At the end of the work day, Pam realizes that Michael's antics helped him make a large sale. Having forgotten Kevin's phone extension, Jim calls Dunder-Mifflin's main number, hoping to leave him a voicemail regarding a fantasy football issue. Pam answers and says she's staying late because of her new assignment to chronicle Michael's work day, a copy of which she promises to send to Jim. The pair enjoy a long chat about her tiny apartment and her scary solo movie night in which she rented 28 Days Later rather than 28 Days. They start to reconnect, but Ryan and Dwight, both exhausted, return to the office for a few seconds and she loudly says goodbye to the pair as they exit. Jim misconstrues the exclamation, and the pair hang up.

A satiated Stanley remarks in an interview that in 364 days, it will once again be Pretzel Day.

• This episode was originally scheduled to air before "Grief Counseling".
• Dwight asks (or starts to ask) Ryan four brain teasers:

1. There are two coins totaling 15 cents; one of them is not a nickel. What are they?

2. A man and his son get into a car accident. When they are at the hospital, the doctor says: "There's no way I can operate on this boy. He's my son." Why?

3. A man hangs himself, and the detective finds a puddle of water, but nothing he could have stood on. How did this man hang himself?

4. A hunter leaves his base camp one morning and travels one mile due south. He then turns and travels one mile due east. At this point, he shoots a bear. Taking the direct route, he travels one mile due north and is back at the base camp. What kind of bear did he shoot?

• According to the announcement made over the office's public address system, the complimentary soft pretzels are provided "as a thank you to our loyal tenants." The announcement is made by Billy Merchant, identified in "The Injury" as the Scranton Business Park properties manager.
• The song Jim and Andy sing in Stamford is "Lovefool" by The Cardigans.
• While "testing" Ryan, one of the questions that Dwight asks him is what the DHARMA Initiative, from Lost, is.
• Dwight plays "River Runs Red" by Life of Agony as he's driving to Schrute Farm.
• While in the pretzel line, Kelly tells Michael the plot of Lazy Sunday, which is parodied by Michael and Dwight in the episode "The Merger". They call their parody "Lazy Scranton."
• According to Dwight's trivia answer, Dunder-Mifflin co-founder Robert Mifflin killed himself, not because of depression, but because "he hated himself."
• The figurine Mose whittled as a part of his gift basket is actually a rendition of the Venus of Willendorf.
• Dwight repeatedly calls Ryan "Temp" even though Ryan was hired permanently prior to "Gay Witch Hunt".
• When Pam tells Jim that she can type 90 words per minute, he replies by saying that not even Mavis Beacon, the logotype persona for the typing program Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing, could type that fast. Coincidently, Jenna Fischer was actually a receptionist at one time and actually does have the ability to type 90 words per minute.

Jan: I don’t care how your day was, Michael.
Michael: Wow. Well, okay, I don’t care how your day was, either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up like that …
Jan: Tell me what you did yesterday.
Michael: I … worked. And then I went home to my condo. And Carol came over. And we had sex. Is that what you want to hear?

Jan: Hi Pam.
Pam: Hi.
Jan: I’m great.

Pam: It’s weird. Jan used to treat Michael like he was a 10-year old. But lately, it’s like he’s five.

Dwight: So are you excited?
Ryan: Yeah.
Dwight: Very excited?
Ryan: Yes. I’m very excited.
Dwight: Extremely excited? (Ryan gives Dwight a dubious look.) Just very, that’s cool.

Ryan: I … have spent a year here. And I have to commit, or get out so … Dwight’s the top salesman in the company, and he’s taking me on my first sales call today. And um, I’m excited.

Dwight: I am very excited. Ryan hasn’t made a sale yet. But more importantly, he hasn’t made an ally yet. Is he going to be a slacker/loser/wiseass like Jim was, or is he going to join the Dwight Army of Champions?

Ryan: So where’s the sales office?
Dwight: When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you. Your journey begins now.

Dwight: Do you know where we are, temp?
Ryan: I know where we’re not.

Pam: Once a year, they bring in a little cart, and they give away free pretzels. It’s really not a big deal. To some people it is.

Dwight: And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed … in you.
Ryan: I don’t think you know what you’re saying.

Dwight: It smells pretty bad, doesn’t it?
Ryan: Uh-huh.
Dwight: It’s called bull crap, and a client can smell it from a mile away.
Ryan: Gotcha.

Stanley: I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on pretzel day … well I like pretzel day.

Bob Vance: Whatta pair of Marys.
Stanley: This is pretzel day.

Ryan (talking to himself): “Hey Dwight, you’re a great salesman. Can you teach me?” “Sure Ryan, I’ll make you kneel in cow manure. And I’ll abandon you in a beet field.” “Oh that sounds great Dwight. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for your mentorship.”

Jim (singing): Love me, love me, say that you love me, fool me, fool me, go on and fool me …

Karen: This is not a proportionate response.

Andy: (Singing) I don’t care ’bout anything but you. Whatever happened to those guys?

Michael: Hi. Please tell me you have a sweet pretzel left.
Pretzel Guy: We do.
Michael: Thank god.
Pretzel Guy: And we have 18 different toppings. We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate, white chocolate, fudge, M&Ms, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, marshmallows, nuts, toffee nuts, coconut, peanut butter drizzle, oreos, sprinkles, cotton candy bits, and powdered sugar.
Michael: Is there any way that you can do all, all of them?
Pretzel Guy: The works, you got it.
Michael: All right! Thank you!

Ryan (as Mose darts by): What was that?
Dwight: Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground.
Ryan: Is that your cousin Mose?
Dwight: Yes.

Dwight: What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin?
Ryan: Outsourcing and consolidation of the competition.
Dwight: Wrong. Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin’s suicide?
Ryan: Depression?
Dwight: Wrong. He hated himself. What is the Dharma Initiative?

Angela: I’m sure Dwight will protect him.
Kelly: I don’t know. Dwight’s so weird.
Angela: He is not weird. He’s just … individualistic.
Kelly: No, he’s a freak.
Angela: You’re a freak!

Dwight: What is Michael Scott’s greatest fear?
Ryan: Um, loneliness. Maybe women.
Dwight: Wrong. He’s not afraid of anything. Also, I would have accepted “snakes.”

Dwight: Fear is what it’s all about. You cannot sell while undergoing fear. You need to vanquish fear! One must wrestle fear to the ground. You will now wrestle my cousin Mose!

Dwight: Ryan, you don’t have to wrestle him. Ryan, just get in the coffin.

Mose: Bye Ryan. (To Dwight) He seemed nice.
Dwight: Where are all the animals?

Dwight: Mose is sorry, too. Look, he sent over a basket with eggs, and some fatback bacon, and look, something he whittled!

Dwight: I wanted us to be a team. An unstoppable team.

Dwight: Michael always says “K-I-S-S.” “Keep It Simple, Stupid.” Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

Pam: Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael?

Michael: I think we can get a lot done, don’t you? On paper, at least. And we are, after all, a paper company. Are we not, are we not, are we not? Are you with me, are you with me? Thank you very much.

Ryan: They really didn’t like me.
Dwight: They did not. They didn’t have to say it to your face.

Dwight: Not everything’s a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail.

Dwight: You know what, they’re going to be screwed once this whole Internet fad is over.

Dwight: Temp, temp, temp, temp … Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan!

Dwight: Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere.
Ryan: I think about that all the time.

Pam: Jan’s making me keep a log of everything Michael does all day.
Jim: Wow. Do you think … you could send me a copy of that?
Pam: Yeah, totally.

Pam: Everything’s pretty much the same here.
Jim: Oh good.
Pam: A little different. What time is it there?
Jim: What time is it here? Um, we’re in the same time zone.
Pam: Ah yeah, right.
Jim: How far away did you think we were?
Pam: I don’t know. It felt far.
Jim: Yeah.

Jim: Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn’t even type 90.

Jim: How do you confuse “28 Days” with “28 Days Later”?
Pam: Because I got it at Blockbuster and they don’t put the pictures on the box.

Jim: Yes, fancy new Beesly would make that up. New apartment, new stories …
Pam: Oh yeah, my fancy new apartment. I have one bedroom, one bathroom, and a closet.
Jim: And how many kitchens?
Pam: I have one kitchen.
Jim: Wow, you got totally taken for a ride, Beesly!

Jim: How are you going to cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?

Stanley: 364 days. Til the next pretzel day.