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Kelly invites the entire staff to a celebration of Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights. Michael serves as the vocal supporter of such an event and believes it to be an Indian version of Halloween.

A staff meeting is scheduled to enlighten staff members about Hindu culture. This is met with disgusted replies by Angela, excitement by Kevin (particularly after seeing illustrations in a kama sutra booklet distributed by Michael) and an uncomfortable Toby, who decides to end the meeting and takes away the booklets.

Back in Stamford, Jim has decided to follow Josh's example and ride his bike to work. Meanwhile, Andy pulls out a bottle of Jagermeister and shot glasses to turn a late night of work into a drinking game, which Karen wins by pouring her shots into her wastebasket while the two men continue to down shots.

Michael and Carol arrive at the Diwali festival in costume, since Michael thought the celebration would be a "costume party." Carol is a cheerleader and Michael is wearing his papier-mâché twin from Halloween 2005, which he quickly removes.

Ryan, dressed in a kurta (traditional men's Indian attire), tries to acquaint himself with Kelly's family, which is met with giggling by Kelly's younger sisters, whom Ryan believes compared his looks to Zach Braff in their language (they say "Kelly likes Zach Braff... " in Hindi). and disapproval by Kelly's parents, who want to set her up with an Indian doctor. This only gets worse when Ryan speaks with her parents about his promotion at Dunder Mifflin and his plans to save money for travel and an Xbox. Dwight gets into the spirit of the festival and dons a red Kurta. Even Michael is shown dancing happily to the music.

Initially reluctant to attend the festival, Pam decides to go and actually enjoys herself as she starts dancing along with the staff and the rest of the festivalgoers. A cleaned up Roy shows up in time to find Pam in the middle of the dancing crowd, making him uncomfortable, and he silently exits the party.

Michael has an enlightening conversation with Kelly's parents about Hindu marriage customs and suddenly interrupts the celebration to publicly propose to Carol. Uncomfortable, Carol declines his offer and leaves the room. Michael follows her out to the car, where they briefly talk; Carol citing that this is only their ninth date, while Michael states how much he likes her. Carol drives home, leaving Michael to find a ride.

Meanwhile, Pam is surprised to find herself inspired by Michael's outgoing, romantic nature and she sends a text message to Jim. However, Jim is passed out on his desk and is unaware of the incoming message on his cell phone. As the Diwali festival winds down, a dejected Michael makes an attempt to kiss a disappointed Pam, who stops him, and reluctantly agrees to drive him home, as long as he sits in the back seat. On the drive, he mentions the shoes he's wearing aren't his own.

Back in Stamford, Karen leaves for the night, as Jim continues to lie face down on his desk and Andy is laid out on the floor, both completely inebriated. Jim asks Andy if he can get a ride but Andy says "No way, dude," and begins to unfurl an inflatable mattress. He offers to share the "roomy twin" with Jim. Jim decides to ride his bike home but barely exits the front door when he crashes sideways into the bushes. An amused Karen laughs and offers Jim a ride home. He accepts immediately and crawls into her backseat leaving her to deal with his bicycle.

• The costume Michael is wearing as he and Carol walk into the Diwali celebration was first seen in the Season 2 episode "Halloween".
• This is the first time Karen's last name, Filipelli, is spoken aloud. It is mentioned by Jim as Karen walks him to her car.
• Kelly's parents were played by Mindy Kaling's real parents. Kaling is Hindu in real life.
• Michael's "Diwali Song" reworks Adam Sandler's "The Chanukah Song".
• The song that Andy and Jim drunkenly sing is "Closer to Fine" by Indigo Girls.
• Andy's desk nameplate indicates his last name is Bernard.
• In a deleted scene on NBC.com, Kelly is asked by Michael to describe Diwali "in three words or less", and she is the one who gives Michael the idea it is "a Hindu Halloween".
• During the Diwali celebration you can hear popular filmi songs "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" (from Hum Aapke Hain Kaun) and "Ek Ladki Ko Dekha" (from 1942: A Love Story).
• The high school scenes were shot at the very same high school where the TV show Freaks and Geeks was shot. The creator of that show, Paul Feig, has directed several episodes of The Office. The actress who plays Karen also appeared in one episode of Freaks and Geeks, also playing a character named Karen.

Michael (snickering): Nice dress, Ryan.
Kelly: It’s not a dress. It’s a kurta.

Michael: Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. What is Diwali, you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, (silly high voice) it’s … blah blah blah … it’s so super fun, and it’s gonna be great, lot of gods with unpronounceable names, twenty minutes you find out it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.

Kevin (tittering): Oh, you mean, like is Pam going?

Angela: Don’t go. They eat monkey brains.

Michael: Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do, sign me up. Because I am sure they are very tasty. And nutritional.

Michael (to Stanley): Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby.
Stanley: I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.

Michael: … I don’t want them embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend Carol.

Michael: So without further adieu, Kelly! You are on.
Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there’s food, and there’s going to be dancing. And oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has, um, sparkles …
Michael: Kelly? Um, why don’t you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I don’t know, it’s really old, I think.
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Angela: And that blue, busty gal — what’s her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.

Dwight: Kelly, I’ll take this one. Diwali is a celebration of the coronation god king Rama after his epic battle with Ravena, the demon king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael: All right, all right. This isn’t Lord of the Rings.

Jim: I started biking to work. Josh does it. And he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also, it saves gas money, it keeps me in shape, helps the environment. And now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.

Karen: Nice basket.
Jim: Thank you!

Michael: Apu, from The Simpsons. Hilarious Indian.

Dwight: I see dead people.
Michael: Okay! Spoiler alert.
Dwight: He was dead the whole time.
Michael: Just stop it!

Anthony: Karen, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again. I need your … skinny little arms …
Karen: Oh. Did you shake it?
Anthony: Yeah, I shook it, I shook it …

Andy: We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Jim: Excuse me?
Andy: Rollercoastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual tension-filled type of deal. It’s very Sam and Diane.
Jim: Wow.
Andy: From Cheers.
Jim: Yup.
Andy: Yeah.

Michael: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you The Kama Sutra. I mean, look at that. Who has seen that before?
Creed: I have, that’s the union of the monkey.
Meredith: Oh, that’s what they call it.
Kevin: This is the best meeting we have ever had.
Michael: Thank you, Kevin.
Angela: I find this incredibly offensive.
Michael: Well, I find it beautiful.

Michael: No, this is delightful, charming culture.

Michael: My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It’s just sex, people. Everybody does it. I’m doing it with Carol. Probably tonight.

Andy: You guys ready to party?

Phyllis: Isn’t this fun, not wearing shoes?
Angela: I wish some of us still had our shoes on.
Kevin: Stop it. It’s a disease. I’ve … told you.

Kevin (tittering at Carol): Nice outfit.

Angela: I’m a vegetarian. What can I eat?
Buffet dude: It’s all vegetarian.
Angela: I’ll just have some bread. (As she’s walking away) You used your hands.

Michael: These smores are disgusting.
Carol: They’re not smores. They’re samosas.
Michael: Do you think they have any smores?

Michael: All they are is chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow. How difficult would that have been?

Ryan: They said something about Zach Braff.

Pam (as she’s getting her hand stamped): That’s very official.

Pam: I feel a little underdressed. But at least I’m not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?

Kelly’s mom: Ryan is a temporary worker, makes no money. Wali is a whole doctor. So handsome, makes good money.

Kelly’s dad: How long have you been married to the cheerleader?

Michael: Who is this crazy gringo and what is he talking about?

Carol: This is our ninth date, Michael.

Michael: I feel like I’ve known you many lifetimes. Maybe I’m Hindu after all. Okay, I’m not Hindu.

Ryan: Well, I was a temp, but I got promoted. So, um, the compensation is a lot more competitive.
Kelly’s mom: So you’re saving money now to start a family and home?
Ryan: Oh, um, or travel. And, um, and buy an Xbox.
Kelly’s dad: Is there anything you wanted to ask us tonight?

Pam: How’s the naan?
Angela: Dry. You looked like you were having fun.
Pam: I am. You should come dance with us.
Angela: I have to watch our shoes, so they don’t get stolen.

Andy (singing): I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains, I looked to the children …
Karen: Andy, no a’cappella!
Andy: I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain …
Andy and Jim: There’s more than one answer, to your questions, pointing me in crooked line …
Andy: Wait, wait …
Andy and Jim: … the less I seek my source …
Karen: Oh come on guys, please.
Andy and Jim: … the closer I am to fine, closer I am to fine …
Karen: It’s not good.
Andy: Tuna?! Are you kidding me?!!!

Michael: We are both the victims of broken engagements.
Pam: Well, you were never really engaged.
Michael: I was in that marriage … arena, though.

Pam: I kind of thought something would happen tonight, too.

Pam: What are you doing?
Michael: What are you doing?
Pam: I’m rejecting your kiss.

Michael: Can I have a ride home?
Pam: If you sit in the back.

Karen: Hey, dummy, get in the car.

Jim: And I am just going to lie down in the back, if that’s alright.
Karen: Sure! Here’s your bag. Just don’t puke on anything. (Gets in car) You okay?
Jim: So good.
Karen: Good.

Michael: These are not my shoes.

Michael: This is just like that show, Taxi Cab Confessions.
Pam: You say one more word, I’m stopping the car.
Michael: Sorry.